Trusting school friends with your past and present.

Just signed up to a facebook group on a whim: my highschool cohort from grade 10-12 (1986-1988). There’s about 70 members, but the grade had around 200 students. And it is a strange kind of feeling reconnecting with people that you once knew pretty well for about a decade of your school life (20+ years ago), and no longer do at all! So why is it strange, and why do we do it? (and more to the point, why would we turn up for that even scarier situation, the face to face school reunion?)
I think part of it is about showing off, at least those aspects of yourself you think are worth showing off, that you are proud of (family, achievements, makeovers!). But part of it is also to be significant, to be recognised and remembered, and thought well of. We want people to see that we have changed and grown up. People may remember me as the musical geek (yes that’s how we were considered I think) who spent her every moment in the music room and in rehearsals. (Yes, we were allowed in the music rooms, unsupervised, during every break time and before school).
But there is that larger nagging question in the back of my mind: can I really trust these people, whom I no longer know, with the current information about who I am, who I have become after so many years of change and growing up. These barely recognisable faces, who like me have experienced the ravages of time, knew me at the height of my adolescent arrogance! Though I want to re-write that impression, I wonder if I can really trust them with it? And do they even care? All those highschool insecurities bubble to the surface, and tempt me to leave the group!
Yet I suppose all of us are in the same boat, aren’t we, not really knowing who each person turned out to be, where their life has taken them since highschool, and whether or not they can be trusted.
I hope I can be trusted! And I hope that I will show grace and kindness to anyone who chooses to reconnect with me.

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